Nursing homes

My job can be extremely rewarding. On the other hand my job can be extraordinarily difficult. Yesterday was the worst day I have experienced while working in a nursing home in the past 7 years.

Two events occurred within a short period of time that left me questioning my desire to work in this environment.

First, a resident who has been in our facility for quite a while was taken, against her will, by her guardian. This resident barely knows the guardian, who came in and insisted that she go to live in his house with himself and his wife. She was distraught and needed to be brought oxygen at one point. She was yelling that this had to do with her house and him wanting the money that would come from that than it did with anything else. She then turned to us and told us that she hoped we could all live with ourselves because we were not stopping this from happening. Keep in mind that upon finding out what the guardian intended to do we called every entity we have in our arsenal trying to stop this from happening, unfortunately, because a court said she needed a guardian due to her confusion there was nothing that could be done to stop it. We were informed by Elder Care Services to contact them when she was removed from the facility, we did. They will send someone to the guardian's home within 7 days. Also, this guardian is refusing to let her son, whose care she was removed from to  see her at this time. Keep in mind that the son has visited her about every other day since the moment she entered the facility. He is also the only person who left her any money to spend on things she wanted or to go shopping with the other residents! Following all this I was in tears as were so many of my coworkers...it was truly a heart wrenching experience to witness. I am afraid for this resident, I do not for a single moment believe that this man has her best interest at heart, and I pray that she is quickly removed from his care by Elder Care Services.

Moments after we hung up from the phone from notifying Elder Care Services of the discharge of this resident,  a nurse walked in to my office to inform us that a different resident had passed away. This resident had been such a sweet soul, and has been with us since I began working there. It was not something we had realized was occurring with all the other chaos that was happening around us. None of us, who were involved in the incident with the resident being removed from the facility had had the opportunity to say our goodbyes to this resident. That's always a horrible feeling.

I left the building last night feeling as though every ounce of my energy had been consumed. I was certainly questioning whether I wanted to return...
I arrived home and walked in the house, my husband took one look at me and knew that something horrible had happened, upon explaining the situation in about as much detail as I was able (similar to the detail I have just given so that I did not violate any Hipaa policies) and breaking down in tears my husband reached over and hugged me...it was then that I realized as horrible as the day had been, I started working in healthcare because I honestly felt that my ability to care for others and feel empathy for what they go through was a beneficial attribute. That same ability to feel so deeply for others is also what allows me to feel so torn at the injustices that I see occurring around me.

It was a horrible day, but I have had 7 years of experiences in the nursing home environment, and in those 7 years the good days, the wonderful days when I leave feeling as if I made a difference in a single moment in someone's final days, or have helped a family member, or had the privilege of  hearing an amazing story from someone about their life, or hearing a spouse tell the story of their life before their loved one entered the nursing home far outnumber the type of day that I had yesterday.

I work with an amazing group of men & women as well! Some who came by my house with a few beers last night and we sat back, played cards and talked about the day and found a way to laugh and remember the good things despite the bad day we had experienced. Others who simply sent a message or called to check on each other and make sure everyone was handling things okay.

In the nursing home we become an intricate part of each other's lives. We care about each other, we become an extended family. Our residents and our co-workers become a vital part of our lives, and like any family, sometimes some of them get on our nerves, some of them we don't take too seriously, some of them are always good for a laugh, sometimes you have to just get away from them, but all of them somehow become a part of us.

I want to thank Don who saw me walking down the hall and reached over and pulled me into a big hug, he never said a word, he simply hugged me. He is kind of like everyone's grandpa.  Alexis who came over and with her fun spirit managing  to lift the moods of myself and my daughter who were still sitting back a little shell shocked. Wendy who came over after I called to check on her, and drank the hard stuff and found herself laughing despite the shock of the news. Amy who called to check on me, who always lifts my spirit with a few words of kindness! These are the people I work with, who have become like my own family members. I love them dearly, and even if we get on each other's nerves sometimes, we are all there for each other! That's what makes this type of work so rewarding, and allows us to come away from horrible days a little bit stronger, a little bit wiser and certainly realizing that each day with these people is a gift to be cherished.