Something I have never understood

Last night my son, Brendon, had a choir concert. This concert was a co-effort between the two middle schools in our town. I happened to look over and saw my very good friend's ex wife. She and I used to be friends as well, however, at some point in the marriage she began being very put offish with everyone in the circle of his friends. After the divorce she is just downright rude. Last night their son Emmanuel (who is now 5) waved at me, this woman had the nerve to shove his hand down and give me a dirty look! Are you kidding me lady?

At no point have I done anything to her that would cause this behavior. I have found, in talking to other people, that anyone with an association to my friend has been treated in the same way. This woman blows my mind.

My friend may be many things, he is unorganized, he is spontaneous, he is laid back, he is also a great father. I say this because not only has he always supported his children;the first he had when he was 16 and turned around and joined the marines as soon as he turned 18 so he would be getting a decent paycheck to be able to take care of him, the second isn't even his biological child but the third is the sister of the second and he took care and raised them both, even paying for them to go to a private school. Now this little boy he also takes care of (financially) and this woman is putting him through the ringer...My friend works for UPS...often he isn't done with his route until after 7:30 p.m. by the time he gets back to the center and takes off it's usually about 8:00 p.m. If he shows up at her house on visitation nights after 8:00 p.m. she won't allow him to take his son (nor will she allow any one else to come get him), but if he shows up at 7:59 she will make him wait while she has her son change in to the clothes she allows him to wear during visitation (different clothes for daddy's house...wtf?). The other thing about my friend is that every child in the neighborhood that we used to live in loved to go over to hang out. They would all be outside playing baseball or running around playing tag. His children love him completely. My children think he's amazing and fun. People who don't know him by name know who he is, he's the one that will empty his wallet buying the neighborhood kids ice cream from the ice cream man when their parents are inside or at work or whatever because he's buying his own kids some and doesn't want the other kids to go without. He's an amazingly kind and caring individual! I have known him since I was 14 and he was about 21. He was my boss at one of my first jobs. He and my husband are good friends as well. Our friendship has grown closer over the years. You can always count on him to help you out in a jam! He's a wonderful person.

I am appalled at what my friend has gone through and because so much of his money is being spent on paying the house payment (that she lives in) and child support he is pretty much just scraping by so he doesn't have the money to pay for a lawyer that will be a bulldog in this fight. His lawyer sucks. I wish I had gotten my law degree for this reason alone.

I have never understood, nor will I understand, what goes on in people's heads when they use their children as pawns in a fight that is supposed to be between 2 adults. If there is no true and legitimate concern for the child's welfare; there should not be a problem with visitation to the estranged spouse. At one point you loved the other person, enough so to create human life with them...how can you now hate them to the point of trying to hurt them by withholding their own flesh and blood? This is absurd to me. If they are a good parent that should be your only concern. If they are an asshole it doesn't make them a bad person.

The entire situation disgusts me. It's a sad situation!