A permanent solution to a temporary problem...

The title of today's entry is what a friend of mine said when I shared the sad news I received yesterday.
My children's cousin committed suicide the night before last. He was really the nephew of my sister in law (my brother's wife)...but my brothers kids, him and his brothers and my kids all hung out together and thought of themselves as cousins...so as far as any of us were concerned that's what they were - cousins.
He was only 12 years old. He hung himself.
There are no words to describe the shock and the pain of this; although I can't help myself and feel that writing it out here may help.
I got the news yesterday morning and couldn't believe it. My 12 year old had just walked out of my line of vision as my mother was telling me this horrible news. I wanted to go run after him and hold him! My other two boys were standing there but didn't know what was going on because I wasn't really saying much of anything...
We (my husband and I) broke the news to them last night. That was even harder than the day we had to tell them Bob had cancer...and I had a very difficult time with that...this was a thousand times more horrendous to have to share. My 12 year old walked around for hours mumbling to himself, things like 'Why, I just don't understand.' I think we all feel that way. One of the twins cried and cried...and finally cried himself to sleep after several hours. The other twin hasn't said much of anything...although he did say that he was going to say a prayer that Jesus would take care of his cousin until we could all see him again.

That's my news...my emptying and sharing in a vain attempt to purge myself of this terrible ache and pit in both my heart and my stomach.
God's Peace E.J. You are loved and are missed!

What a freakin' day!

My day started out early - as usual, with my husband running late and one sick child (who began complaining last night but the dr's office was closed and the answering service told me they'd be in first thing in the morning).
Really, the only good part of my day was my time spent at the gym running - and I assure you that was a rough run...however it was the high point in my day.
After getting to work my boss sent a stack of papers flying at me...she tossed them across the table in my direction without saying a word. Apparently she's a little pissed at me because I'll be leaving the facility soon. (gave my two week notice and Friday is my last day). Later I sent her an email regarding the stuff on the stupid papers she tossed at me...only to get a reply back saying that I could feel free to come to her office and verify that my paperwork was in by going through the financial files...seriously? Then added to it was another love note saying that she's not angry with me but that she just wants to make sure all my work is done because it isn't fair to her or to the person who will take my place if they have to do any work that I left unfinished...seriously; has she EVER had to do my work? NO....not even when I missed 17 of the 25 days in the month that my husband was diagnosed with cancer did she or anyone else for that matter have to do my work! So - Yes, I'm angry! On top of this she then tried to throw me under the bus on an insurance problem we've been having...thanks! Glad I've spent the past 6 years busting my ass for you! That makes it all worthwhile!
To make the day even better; I call the doctors office for my son to get an appointment only to be told that the doctor is out of the country until the end of next week! Gee, wonderful. So, I shoot my husband a text and tell him we are going to have to take him to the ER...in response he goes on a tangent about how I should have done this last night when he first complained about a sore throat...and how he hates taking the kids to doctors....right on! Don't we all? Seriously, does anyone think I have enjoyed any of the thousands of hours I have had to sit in hospitals with my husband or my children? Of course not - it's not really enjoyable time to spend...however, the last time I checked I didn't sign up for single parenthood...so share and share alike especially when I'm stuck at work until 8 p.m.
So, I call his mother - who I know is off work soon - (there were still about 3 hours until my husband was getting off work)...she took him to the hospital and had him checked...he has strep throat. Soon after this finding I start getting texts from my sis in law...this makes me remember why I get so pissy with her! instead of saying something like "hey, next time one of the kids is sick please don't ask mom to be with them...she's getting older (62) and doesn't need to get sick" I get "I sure the hell hope mom doesn't get sick." "I start a new job tomorrow. Cassy and Caiden were over here yesterday. So was Ayla. This is perfect." To which I respond "Well, I hope no one else gets sick!" and she says "Oh so then its all ok. Thanks! Ya it takes mom WAY longer to recover. This was not a smart move!"
 My reply was "point taken thanks"
The reply I really wanted to send was more like "Hey, piss off - people get sick and your moms in pretty damn good health so why don't you have a big fat cup of shut the hell up."
Right - it's been a bad day. Gonna go home - have a glass of wine or a Mike's hard lemonade or a jack daniels with some coca cola and lock myself in my room and forget about everyone for the night!
Aren't you glad you decided to read my blog tonight? LOL!          
Well, I feel better now, at least!

Good Run

It was raining when it was time to go for our run. So, we compromised and went to the Y to run. It was a good run...2 miles (that's right only two miles; but I didn't say it was a long run just a good one). Felt good throughout the entire two miles and ran a little faster than I have been over the past two weeks of training. Going to just slowly add mileage and speed.
I'm currently running 5 to 6 days per week and alternating distance/speed. For instance: Tuesday I did my two mile run...Wednesday I only ran 1 mile but ran it considerably faster than I've been running the two miles. I then did a core workout to follow up the short run. This is the pattern and it's working as I've dropped several pounds already.

That's about it for today - I'm making spaghetti with Turkey Meatballs for dinner! YUMMY!

Tomorrow is FOOTBALL SUNDAY! Bears game (I hope they lose) followed by a Packers game (I hope they win).

Good riding to my cycling friends - I've been back on the bike as well in the evenings with a friend who decided to take it up for fun. Feels so good to be back on the Trek and enjoying the things I did before (as my blogging friend pointed out...I took a long vacation and indeed I did...from all the things I enjoy but now I'm back to it! ).

Saturday Morning Rain ...run? and other randomness!

Rhonda and I are scheduled for an outdoor run this morning through Huber Park, however, I am sitting on my enclosed porch and it's raining out. I'm not really a big fan of running outside anyway - but in the rain it's really not going to happen. Maybe we will switch this up and hit the gym! I'm certainly not in the mood to get rained upon! The reason I dislike running outside, for you people who can't fathom why I might feel this way is a very simple one...I have difficulty pacing myself, so will run fast and then die out and have to stop to walk...it's crazy and it's crummy but that's how it is...I haven't had to pace myself since when I was on the Track team...and folks, that was a LONG time ago!

Brendon and Cody have a birthday later on to attend.

Considering the rain and the cooler temps I believe I'm going to make soup and grilled cheese for dinner...although the guys may shoot me for that since they are talking about putting the new motor into the Jeep (1983 CJ-7) today...maybe I should make some MEAT!

I think after my run I'll start working on some of my crochet projects which I really left alone all summer. I have some ideas for cute Christmas presents so I need to get to work!

I also need to start working on the Halloween Costumes...our family is doing a theme this year and I need to get to crackin on it since it's going to be sort of difficult to get it all together!

R.C.I.C. classes started this week as well, so I have lesson plans to work on as well!

Oh yes, and this coming week is my last week at Bethany Health Care...I will be moving on and going to another facility as their business office manager!

5 K Run ...

Rhonda and I have signed up for a 5K run. So, the training has begun. This has been going on for about 2 weeks now.
I ran 2 miles this morning without almost having a heart attack! Walked another half mile and then did 100 crunches.

Haven't been doing much bike riding :( and starting my new job soon won't help on that front since I will be driving to work now.
However, the training is in full gear. Hopefully it will have the desired effect!

KISS

We took Gaven as a present for being stuck with his little brothers hanging around him all summer. We purchased lawn seats but leveled up right away. Not the greatest seats in the world but not the worst and way better than the crummy lawn at Tinley Park. So, We had a BLAST! KISS was phenomenal!  

This is Bob, Man Cow & Mallory in the green room thanks to Moo Cow (a friend of ours) who got us the passes into the green room and the VIP parking!

Sean, Mallory, Myself, Bob and Gaven 

KISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GENE!

Paul

Mallory and I! 

The Adults by the best adult beverage! :)

Mallory and I with some guy who was nice enough to let us be stupid with him.

A good pic of Paul - thank goodness for that screen! 

Gaven's first concert & his concert tee.

That's right - KISS!

Mallory and I with some guys from a Kiss tribute band...the guy behind me was very worried about the wind blowing his hair...for real? C'mon be a real rocker!!!!